no really... i am still here

sorry it's been a while... just in case people are still out there checking my blog.
honestly, i don't like to write down what's going on unless i feel like it's substantial. and the past week has been the first time in quite a while when i feel like i have been in His presence enough to receive anything of substance. but what a rich week it has been! so there's a few thoughts about what i should even say right here... but i'm just going to stick to one train of thought per post so as to not overwhelm. (overwhelm myself that is!)
He's been showing me consistently that any creativity i want to express is going to be a result of being in His presence. it's just not in me, but when i am with Him, when i really get to be with Him, He stirs it up in me and pulls it out of me.

Isaiah 6:4-7
And the foundations of the thresholds trembled at the voice of him who called out, while the temple was filling with smoke. Then I said, "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts." Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand which he had taken from the altar with tongs. He touched my mouth with it and said, Behold, this has touched your lips; and your iniquity is taken away and your sin is forgiven." Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

so the truth is that our very condition is changed when we are in His presence. isaiah's lips were purged of sin... and God has made atonement for my sin as well. and then... gosh this is good. it's not so much that He sends us out. the original Hebrew word there also means "to set free, to let loose." so He changes who we are, and then lets us loose to express ourselves creatively. it's not so much that He's forcing us into certain roles to fulfill our destinies... but it's that we come into His presence and when we are made holy, He then releases us to live out our dreams.
that takes a lot of pressure off of the decision making process! He has put in me what He wants me to do, and He allows me to tap into that when i come into His presence. and then i can live in the freedom of knowing my choices to live out my passions are also working to fulfill His purpose for me.